It's December 25th. You’re busy heaping cranberry sauce on your plate and stealthily dodging those brussel sprouts when, as you knew it would, the conversation turns to bitcoin.
Statistically speaking, the majority of your family have probably heard of the digital currency by now – no doubt in the context of Gox, Silk Road (both 1 and 2) and critics declaring that it's dead, yet again, following the latest price bubble.
They might have also seen an interview with bitcoin's CEO, noticed that its 'stock' has tumbled or read about Newsweek's 'unmasking' of Dorian Nakamoto – bitcoin's creator who, despite his digital fortune, is apparently living a humble life in LA with his mother.
For this reason, answering the question ‘What is bitcoin?' in 2014 is less about providing a 101 than countering the bric-a-brac of misinformation people have picked up in passing.
Here are six tips to help you nail your spiel so you can get back to the real issue at hand: dinner.
Tailor it
Rule number one: know your audience.
Back in January, Nik Custodio wrote a fantastic article explaining bitcoin for a five-year-old using the concept of 'digital apples'. It works because it was written on his audience's terms and in a language they could understand - something that escapes most evangelists keen to push their own agenda.
Your teenage cousin is more likely to understand emerging payment technologies like SnapCash and ApplePay than the octogenarians in the room. Meanwhile, your father is
Pinpoint a particular interest or affiliation that can hook you in, and that's half the battle.
Don't forget, you can be critical. Often the best explanations are.
It could even be tenuous, do they like rap? Two and a Half Men? Great. 50 Cent, Snoop Dogg and Ashton Kutcher like bitcoin, too.
Does anyone use PayPal? Hit them with the fees: on average x. Which brings us to moving money abroad ...
Anyone moving money abroad? Travellers
Where are they on the political spectrum? If they've ever bought up Rand Paul for 2016, or bemoaned tax, rejoice! You've got a Libertarian on your hands. They'll
Wait, there's a geek in the room? Jackpot. If they've not already heard about bitcoin, they'll likely be swayed by talk of and dazzle them with memes. If the Internet makes everything better, then why not money? As Circle points out, the format is due an upgrade - even making conventional cash is proving rather expensive.
keep it short and sweet, let them lead, tailor it to their interests - snap cash, credit card fees or politics (libertarian)
Fix something
Find them a problem they may not have known they had. Leave them stranded in hypotheticals
Most commonly, fixing misconceptions and inconsistencies
x wrote a fantastic post back in x on how to explain, digital natives - millennial likely to be au fait with mobile money,
Are your parents looking to take that retirement trip? Slip in the hidden charges in forex fees and horror stories about people who have had everything stolen in the middle of nowhere (including those beloved travellers checks) only to stumble a bitcoin ATM.
Moral use cases - freedom of speech, solar energy and financial inclusion are all worthy causes.
Sony hack - centralisation, something like Storj.
Charity, cutting fees.
Alternatively, it could be something as simple as splitting the bill at the end of a meal, or accepting payments ...
Use gadgets
If you're completely lost for words – or, more likely, your mouth is full – grab the nearest smartphone or tablet and get busy queuing up some bitcoin explainer videos.
Previously, We Use Coins was the go-to resource for an easy introduction. However, there are now a number of different options out there. In our rundown of the top bitcoin explainer videos, Vox and The Guardian came tops for addressing the basics in under 2 minutes. You can save your face simplifying the Byzantine Generals Problem with finger puppets for after dessert, this is an easy win.
Compare it
We’ve all heard how bitcoin is like the internet in 1994, here, here and here.
It's also the next X, and anything you like really.
others find the Gartner Hype Cycle useful:
Maybe, it's beyond compare - proof-of-work is bizarre when you think about it.
Make predictions
While predictions for a $10,000 bitcoin may now seem a little overzealous, many of bitcoin's best advocates look to the future to explain why it is worth bothering with now.
It's becoming trendy to favour the prospects of the blockchain over bitcoin 'the currency'. While the two are codependent and, by design, cannot separate, many commentators think the technology behind bitcoin will trump its function as a currency in whatever future form (see Sidechains).
You can nod to total investment poured into the technology so far - $300m and counting. Well over what the Internet achieved in its early years.
Or, it could all bite the e-dust - up to you.